T-SQL job title generator

While writing a sample random function in using T-SQL Server, I have remembered, why not write a job title generator for T-SQL domain only. You might have seen so called bulls**t job title generator and similar, but this one is T-SQL SQL server specific.

So, why not come up with random, yet funny T-SQL job titles. And making it, I have to tell you, it was fun. And I was simply hitting that F5 button in SSMS, to get new job title generated and laugh out loud.

Following this laughter, I have created the following website:

http://tsqljobtitlegenerator.azurewebsites.net/index.php

that encapsulated the T-SQL code explained in this blog. You can either copy/paste the T-SQL code and run it in your SSMS or visit the T-sql job title generator web site.

The code

Staging some data, I have created just some random words, consisting of three parts. One is just IT slang/jargon set of words, the second is a list of interesting SQL Server technologies, functions, sets, and other words and last one is the more sophisticated – new age – words. So here is the data set:

DROP TABLE IF EXISTS roles;
GO

CREATE TABLE roles
(id int identity(1,1) NOT NULL
,title VARCHAR(100)
);


INSERT into roles(title)

SELECT 'Analyst'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Project Manager'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Expert'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Manager'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Person'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Artist'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Tamer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Developer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Administrator'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Technologist'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Uploader'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Downloader'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Sherpa'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Philosopher'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Designer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Legend'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Evangelist'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Hero'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Guru'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Director'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Slayer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Composer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Reader'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Outliner'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Proof-reader'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Assistant'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Operator'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Coffee Maker'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Pizza re-heater'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Banana Cutter'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Tester'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Deep tester'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Backward tester'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Office hater'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Hater'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Warrior'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Junkie'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Wizard'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Leader'
UNION ALL SELECT 'King'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Approver'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Engineer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Architect'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Rockstar'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Ninja'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Python Coder'
UNION ALL SELECT 'R and Python Hater'
UNION ALL SELECT 'C# Lover'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Java evangelist'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Ninja'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Captain'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Strategist'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Consultant'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Organizer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Coffee spiller'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Endorser'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Cow'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Dog'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Cheever'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Lazy'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Fanboy'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Copy/Paster'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Researcher'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Cloner sheep'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Copy cat'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Shadower'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Guerilla'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Bullshiter'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Updater'
UNION ALL SELECT 'F5key presser'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Helper'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Knows everything'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Coffee Addict'
UNION ALL SELECT 'ASAP Doer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Complicator'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Helpdesk dispatcher'
UNION ALL SELECT 'His Awesomeness'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Hers Awesomeness'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Advanced Copy/paster'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Stackover subscriber'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Over-engineering'


DROP TABLE IF EXISTS sqlstuff;

CREATE table sqlstuff
(ID INT IDENTITY(1,1) NOT NULL
,title VARCHAR(100)
)

INSERT INTO sqlstuff (title)
SELECT 'Cardinality Estimator'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Stored Procedure'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Data Masking'
UNION ALL SELECT 'High Availability'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Database Durability'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Memory Optimized table'
UNION ALL SELECT 'User Defined Function'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Stale Statistics'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Azure'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Power BI'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Machine Learning service'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Reporting Service'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Notification Service'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Analysis Service'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Clustered Index'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Database Snapshot'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Query Store'
UNION ALL SELECT 'DBCC Check'
UNION ALL SELECT 'B-Tree'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Query Optimizer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Linked Server'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Trigger'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Replication'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Resource Governor'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Maintenance Plan'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Server Log'
UNION ALL SELECT 'SQL Server Agent'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Extended Event'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Profiler'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Server Role'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Auditing'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Credentials'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Database Backup'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Extended Properties'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Log Shipping'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Database Mirroring'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Availability Group'
UNION ALL SELECT 'PowerShell'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Parameter Sniffing'
UNION ALL SELECT 'ANSI Default'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Service Broker'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Compatibility Level'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Containment Type'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Recovery Model'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Collation'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Primary Filegroup'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Database Log Backup'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Bulk Insert'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Left Join'
UNION ALL SELECT 'U-SQL'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Azure SQL Server'
UNION ALL SELECT 'MicroContainer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Pandas Data-frame'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Numpy Array'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Parametrization'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Slow Query'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Long running query'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Nested Query'
UNION ALL SELECT 'R ggplot library'
UNION ALL SELECT 'SARGable Query'
UNION ALL SELECT 'WHERE clause'
UNION ALL SELECT 'WHILE loop'
UNION ALL SELECT 'DELETE statement'
UNION ALL SELECT 'CI/CD'
UNION ALL SELECT 'SQL Server 6.0'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Execution Plan'
UNION ALL SELECT 'String Aggregation'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Dynamic View Management'
UNION ALL SELECT 'User Defined Table'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Fortran OLEDB'
UNION ALL SELECT 'SQL Server 2017'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Cumulative Updates'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Monitoring resources'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Activity Monitor'


DROP TABLE IF EXISTS Fancystuff

CREATE table Fancystuff
(ID INT IDENTITY(1,1) NOT NULL
,title VARCHAR(100)
)


INSERT INTO Fancystuff

SELECT 'Regional'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Group'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Only the best'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Insane'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Qualitative'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Virtuous'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Senior'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Junior'
UNION ALL SELECT 'In-House'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Outsourced'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Magnificent'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Evolutionary'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Customer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Product'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Forward'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Future'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Dynamic'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Corporate'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Legacy'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Investor'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Direct'
UNION ALL SELECT 'International'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Over-seas'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Internal'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Human'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Creative'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Volunteer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Lead'
UNION ALL SELECT '4 Stages of'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Complete'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Most Advanced'
UNION ALL SELECT 'State of the art'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Super high'
UNION ALL SELECT 'First Class'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Powerful'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Data'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Head of'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Master of'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Chief of'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Officer'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Lead'
UNION ALL SELECT 'Specialist'

Once I have this, I can have endless possibilities to merge all the datasets together.

With the following CTE, I will generate the random title:

----------------------------------
----- Generating T-SQL job title
-----------------------------------

;WITH Fancy
AS
(
SELECT TOP 1
title
FROM
Fancystuff
ORDER BY NEWID()
),
SQLy AS
(
SELECT TOP 1
title
FROM
sqlstuff
ORDER BY NEWID()
),
Roley AS
(SELECT TOP 1
title
FROM roles
ORDER BY NEWID()
)

SELECT 
CONCAT(f.title, ' ', s.title, ' ', r.title) AS TSQLJobGenerator

FROM fancy AS f
CROSS JOIN SQLy AS s
CROSS JOIN Roley AS r

 

I can’t help myself not laughing, as every time I hit run query, I get a funny combination.

Couple of my random titles – and some go beyond my imagination.

2018-09-15 15_30_29-SQLServer_Job_title_generator.sql - TOMAZK_MSSQLSERVER2017.JTG (TOMAZK_Tomaz (70

Or

2018-09-15 16_41_19-SQLServer_Job_title_generator.sql - TOMAZK_MSSQLSERVER2017.JTG (TOMAZK_Tomaz (51

Or

2018-09-15 16_43_03-SQLServer_Job_title_generator.sql - TOMAZK_MSSQLSERVER2017.JTG (TOMAZK_Tomaz (51

What is your favorite T-SQL job title that you get with this title generator?

 

And this one is taken from the website

2018-09-15 22_14_40-T-SQL Job Title Generator

 

As always, code is also available on GitHub.

Enjoy T-SQLing!

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Posted in Uncategorized
4 comments on “T-SQL job title generator
  1. Tomaz, this is very funny! So I can send a pull request if I feel that some “stuff” is missing? Additionally, we can extend with some data science oriented terms and titles?

    Like

  2. […] Tomaz Kastrun has created a job title generator in T-SQL: […]

    Like

  3. TMW says:

    Volunteer DBCC Check Helpdesk dispatcher

    Like

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